Diary Of A Mad Black Women: Entry 1
Moods of A Women
This one is for my ladies, most of my posts are typically for us females but this one is different. Have any of you ever woke up hating the entire world and everything in it? I’m talking about when every little thing just annoys you to the point that you want to fight.
I am talking about that unexplained anger where you just want to curse your partner out for even speaking. That feeling of waking up and thinking
” Here we go again with this bullshit ass life”.
Ever just want more for yourself but don’t know how to go about it? This is not going to be one of those posts where at the end I have the answer to all your problems.
Sh*t, I don’t even have the answers to my own questions.
This is a venting session to let you know that you are not alone. I understand your struggle and I am going through it too.
It can be so hard to put a smile on and act like your fine when you aren’t. It’s hard when you’re the strong friend that’s always supportive for others but when you need the same support, they can’t feed you that same energy. Or maybe they just do not have the right words to say to you. Maybe you just don’t know who to turn to because YOU are that person. So you sit there with all of these emotions trying to grasp them before you break.
Sometimes it’s better to break, crying can be a form of mediation. It allows you to relieve that built up anxiety.
Depression is mental. It triggers for many different reasons but one of them is, from feeling lost in the world. When you try to navigate your life on your own terms instead of allowing God to grace you. You become a little unstable. Your emotions are intense and everything just seems overwhelming. Now I am not saying to just pray and sit in a chair screaming, “God, I am ready”. We never know when we are truly ready for anything. God does and he will give you what you ask of him when he knows you are ready to receive it. That means starting to take chances. This will help you to see what exactly it is that you want out of this thing we call life. God will bless you or steer you in another direction but you have to give him something to steer.
This means forcing yourself when you might not want to do something. Food, Sleep, and MJ personally helps me. I do not have all the answers but I do know prayer and bible verses help. But the main key is faith. Having faith God will give you strength to function in reality. Also having faith in yourself that you will be better than you were yesterday. Without faith, you lose your mind trying to navigate your own life. Take a moment to re-read what I said and think about your own life right now.
Do you get it? With faith comes navigation without faith, comes doubt and confusion. You have to believe things turn out positive for a positive outcome right? Let me break it down for you. If you go to a job interview thinking you got the job, 90% of the time you will be hired. If you go in doubting yourself, you probably will not get hired because your vibe is negative. It works the same way in prayer and faith because all God wants from us is to wholeheartedly believe in him. Have you ever caught the holy ghost? The feeling is hard to explain, right? A feeling literally takes over your mind and body but it’s so refreshing that instead of being afraid you embrace the experience. That one experience allowed me to know God is real and alive. It only happened once but it’s a moment I will never forget.
This post turned into a church sermon! The funny thing is when I first started writing I had no idea what I was going to say. I just poured my heart out. So there you go, if you are a guy you have just entered the mind of a Mad Black Woman. If you are one of my lovely sisters I hope this puts a smile on your face. I just want to let you know you are not alone, I have problems too. I made this blog for us all to be open and connect with life’s trials and emotions. Women are the most strong and sensitive beings on Earth.
Sometimes we forget that we are all alike more than different.