There’s a lesson in everything …
I’m always preaching about how “life” is a series of lessons. Everything you go through in life is either a lesson or a blessing, depending on how you look at it. I know, it sounds cliche, but there is so much truth behind it.
I remember asking God, why, every time an inconvenience or loss happened. Not caring to understand the lesson. I was more focused on the “why me”. Why was I not chosen, why didn’t I get the position, why am I struggling in my relationships, why did I get rejected, why? I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who thinks selfishly when it comes to this. I say selfish because a lesson is supposed to teach you – change your way of thinking. Instead of looking for the lesson I saw the situations as a series of unfortunate events. Which unfortunately delayed my growth in career, love, and health.
“Negativity feeds itself. It made me doubt myself which quickly turned into procrastination. Once I stopped placing all the blame on myself and accepted every situation for what it was. I realized, they weren’t as bad as it seemed. I was still alive and able to work on the situation, so why keep the negatively flowing? It’s all about your perspective.”
Once I started acknowledging “why” this or that happened and accepted others flaws. It made it easier for me to understand. There’s a huge disconnect from us with understanding one another; no one cares enough to take the time to understand.
The main advice I’m always reciting to my friends is, to try to understand the lesson that was given to you. What did you learn from it? I’m pretty sure they all roll their eyes through text, and most of the time it goes right over their heads. I am also pretty sure they don’t listen to me until the cycle repeats itself. Have you ever noticed that situations repeat themselves when action wasn’t taken the first time? This applies to relationships, friendships, and finances. Think about what has circled back in your life. Why do you think it did?
I could write a book on all of the valuable lessons I’ve learned in my 29 years on this Earth, but I know I have a lot more to overcome. Lately, I’ve been working on finding the good in situations and learning from them. Given not every situation has good in it, and sometimes I need a few hours/days to recover from it. But I recover from strategically thinking and changing the narrative. When I now ask “why“, I try to seek out the answers from the situation, what caused it, and what did I learn from it?
I know I’m not the only one acknowledging truths, and digging deeper into my lessons. We’re all learning and growing it’s a part of life.
So, I asked 4 phenomenal women from different backgrounds about the life lessons they have learned over the years. Take note, some of their lessons can help you better understand yours.
Lessons Learned From 4 Wise Women
1.Believe people the first time they show you who they are. Don’t allow their words to contradict their actions. Change comes with growth – if that person hasn’t grown then they haven’t changed. I remember putting myself in a cycle of disappointments because I wanted to see the good in people. I had to stop and face the truth – not everyone is like you.
2.Stop allowing fear to stop you from doing what you cannot stop thinking about. The longer you keep a thought hidden, the longer you block your blessings. Go for it TODAY. – Chantel Ciera
3.Be thankful for what you have. Tomorrow isn’t promised, and there are people with less who are happier than you.
4.Don’t f**k yourself over trying to help someone else. It may come back and bite you in the ass. – Jashirra N.
5.Say how you feel and mean what you say. Too many of us are conditioned to make others feel good when deep down we are dying inside. Speak your truth.
6.Being selfish isn’t a bad thing. It’s important to take care of yourself first before you take care of others. – Jazmin W.
7.Anything can be healed or fixed. Stressing over a problem only manifests it.
8.Pay attention in school, your education is all you have. – Chantel Ciera
9.Focus more on your future in your early twenties. Don’t stay in relationships, friendships or jobs that are not for you. Know your value. Time will pass you by before decide to walk away. – Chantel Ciera
10. State your worth from the beginning at any company. Negotiate your pay, never take the first offer. Companies are always prepared to increase the pay – you just have to ask and be able to explain “why” you’re valuable. – Britney T.
11. You can’t have a healthy relationship with someone else, if you don’t have one with yourself. – Britney T.
12. All relationships need communication and comprehension. You can communicate all you want, but if that person doesn’t understand you. It’s a waste of breathe. – Britney T
13. Self-love is an everyday job that you must be consistent and gentle with. Don’t give up on yourself just because you had a bad day. – Britney T
“There is a reason for everything – find the lesson in it so you don’t waste time repeating it.”
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. – Romans 12:2
xox Black Daria