Don’t be afraid of your 30s .. It’s lit over here.
Your twenties are supposed to be your WILD years. It’s that period of time where you have to grow up, but still, wish you were 18 again. I call it the trying to figure it out years.
“The decade of lessons or blessings.”
When I think about my twenties the only thing that comes to my mind is,
“What the fuck was I thinking.”
Instead of learning lessons I was just letting them pass me by, but that’s a story for another time.
Listen, I’ve always dreaded turning 30. Not so much about the age itself. It was more because of the overkill of pressure I put on myself. I wanted the marriage, kids, career all in one by 30.
“Laugh with me as I laugh at myself.”
Some of you might be like me trying to rush the world and getting nowhere. Sitting at home wondering what the fuck am I doing wrong?
Saying to yourself. I know God isn’t going to do me like this.
I want to prepare you so you don’t waste time like I did. Life is full of so many wonders and lessons. You just have to open your eyes and to see it.
Lucky for you. I wrote out a list of lessons I wish someone would have told me before hitting my damn 30s.
Everything happens for a reason:
Whether it’s meant to teach you or bless you. Just like Lauren Hill said, “Everything is everything what is meant to be will be”. The sooner you understand that verse, the better you’ll life will be, I promise you.
“The universe will pull if it’s not meant to be. This goes for jobs, relationships, friendships, pony tails and family.”
Never think you’re too old or smart enough already that you can’t learn something new:
Don’t be ignorant with your knowledge. Every day you’re evolving and growing whether you want to or not. As you grow your knowledge needs to as well. College has no age limit. If you want it, go TF after it.
Pick up a book, follow influential accounts, watch something you can learn from, go back to school – whatever you need to do to make sure you’re feeding your intellect every day.
Listen to the signs in front of you:
If you listen to the universe it will tell you everything you need to know. There’s a lesson or a red flag everywhere, literally. If you stop to pay attention they will lead you in the right different.
“Once I started acknowledging red flags I was able to dodge unnecessary pain. ”
Red flags: Inconsistency, not being heard, gaslighting, manipulation, you feeling anxious out of nowhere..
Make time for your family:
“I was in such a rush in my twenties that I barely took time out for my family. Now that I’m older, I’d say yes to everything they want to do.”
Sad truth, as we age so does our loved ones, but they age faster. Talking about this makes me emotional, but you need to hear it.
Go home to see your parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. The pandemic has changed and took so many lives already. The older generation is MORE afraid than you. They are literally trying anything and everything to live for YOU. Give out hugs, go get tested, and listen to them. They need you.
Don’t live in regret:
It’s a subconscious killer that appears in anxiety attacks, indecisiveness, and depression.
You can’t change the past.
“Trust me I’ve tried.”
All you can do is learn from your mistakes. Acknowledge your part and just accept it. Dwelling will only turn you into the exact person you don’t want to be.
It’s ok if you don’t have it all figured out by 30:
30 is just a number, a large one, but not one that will limit you from making dreams come true. If you don’t have it figured out yet, spend time with yourself.
What do you like to do? What are you passionate about? Is this a career you can start? What type of person do you want to be? What makes you happy?
Ask the questions to find the answer.
Tell yourself, YES!!:
I cannot stress this enough! Live your fucking life in your 20s. Especially if you don’t have any kids yet. Have fun, go out, and do what makes you happy. Your happiness doesn’t wait on anyone, but YOURSELF.
“I use to say NO a lot. No, I can’t go out. I have work in the morning. No, I can’t go on that trip. I was like a broken record. Scared and hesitate to do anything outside the norm. Worried about money when the reality is, money comes and goes.”
Don’t be afraid to live
Date them all, sis, and don’t settle:
Don’t be afraid to wait for the caliber of the man you want. Your ’20s are for dating, so do just that. We’re so quick to jump into relationships, but mishandle them just as fast because a lot of people don’t understand what commitment really looks like.
Take your time to know what type of man/woman you would want. What personality traits are you looking for? How are you two compatible? Does this person bring peace or chaos? Are you even the person you need to be for this person? Can YOU add up to what you want?
Do like the men do and date them all until you connect with the right one.
Waiting is better than settling for less… Don’t let that go over your head.
Pay attention to self-sabotage:
You sabotage yourself when you do or go back to anything you know is bad for you. Whether it’s bad for you physically or mentally. You are causing that pain.
To be honest, I never understood self-sabotage until I saw this tweet.
“If you’re still self-sabotaging yourself I’m convinced you like to suffer”.
I don’t like to suffer. I hope you don’t either.
If you’re a 9-5er get into a career you’ll enjoy:
Everyone is NOT an entrepreneur. I wish social media would stop shoveling that down our throats. You don’t have to be an entrepreneur to be happy.
You can be just as happy at a 9-5. Just be more intentional when looking for one. Money comes and goes but your peace is what matters the most.
“Working at my last 9-5 in a bank drove me crazy. I was depressed and mentally checked out. Yeah, the benefits and money were good, but it wasn’t worth my sanity. I wasn’t happy. I lost myself for a job I didn’t even like.”
That’s what happens when you stay in situations you need to get out of.
Surround yourself with good intentional people:
It’s essential to have people who have your best interest at heart around you. They will be the ones to support you when you fall, and you will fall.
Having supportive and loving adult friendships really should have been my first lesson because it’s so important to have the right people around you. History means nothing if your friend isn’t good to you, doesn’t support you, or is quick to toss you to the side. Remember that.
I hope these lessons help you figure out some shit and that you enter your 30s better than you ever could have imagined.
The grass is taller and healthier than ever over here.
xox Black Daria