The truth behind dating for millennials
All of us desire a love that will test the age of time. I remember watching Disney movies when I was younger. Envisioning meeting my future “prince charming” and how we will instantly fall in love and live happily ever after. I also remember thinking I’ll be married by 24 and have kids before 30. I now laugh at that thought. As I got older I started to realize that the fairytale love stories that I once admired are in fact just fairytales. Reality is, relationships nowadays are really screwed up.
What should be simple and easy to understand has become frustrating because us millennials have complicated the game.
We have this whole idea in our heads of how our life should look like. Although, it’s great to have an idea of the life you want. It sometimes hinders us from being open to more possibilities. If something doesn’t fit in with our vision we are so fast to dismiss it all together. Before seeing what potential it can have.
Majority of us have been coping with a broken heart for a long time without ever healing from it. Which just brings past baggage to the present. Causing us to put those faults on someone who hasn’t done anything wrong.
Situationships have become the new normal because we are afraid to lose what we have started. So, lines are blurred and feelings get dismissed. Instead of speaking up on how we feel. We tend to just “go with the flow” so we don’t have to be alone. But reality is, we are still alone.
There’s no transparency because a lot of millennials aren’t real with themselves. They are used to putting on a front to get what they want. Many are afraid that their transparency will come off as being too blunt, or that the past might scare him-her away. But the truth is, transparency brings trust and understanding.
We’re to calculated with our responses. Responding too fast to a text is considered clingy, or that you don’t have other things to focus on. When in reality, that person just really likes you. Then you have some who take hours to respond back, and it’s considered not being interested. Without being real and speaking on what the issue really is. We adapt to their miscommunication habits. Which eventually just pushes you away.
We want perfect, but perfection doesn’t exist. Social media is the biggest contributor to this. We see pictures with #goals and think, that’s what I want. But reality is, pictures do not showcase the truth. We all need love that speaks to our own love language. Not the facade we see in pictures. Everything that glitters ain’t gold.
There are so many outlets to meet different people. Social media has heightened our insecurities. Our parents never had to worry about someone sliding in their DMs, or possibly reconnecting with an old flame on social media. Social media has made it harder to stay faithful in a relationship because you’re so accessible to the world.
We have become content- happy with being alone. Majority of us have been on a self-love journey to find happiness within ourselves. Which has made us so comfortable with being alone. That we refuse to allow anyone in, or we are very hesitant too. We would rather protect our space then allow another love in.
At this time in our lives many of us unfortunately have baggage that has to travel with us. Whether it’s children, having a record, a dark past, or toxic family members. You now have to decide if you want to put that pressure on someone else, and that person has to decide if they want to take on your baggage. So many hesitate to tell their truth. Afraid that they won’t be accepted.
We tend to fall in love with the illusion that we created of a person. Instead of the reality of who that person really is. Physical appearance means so much to us when it comes to love. Many fall head over heels in love with appearance. Creating a version of you in their minds that deem you to be perfect. But reality is, you are nothing like what they envisioned. So they try to change you to be what they want you to be. Or they claim that you’re too much to handle before taking the time to get to know the true you.
In the end none of us knows what commitment looks like anymore. We make up what is acceptable, and what isn’t based on what society says. Which is all wrong. Commitment isn’t your past, and it isn’t what your parents went through either. It’s what both parties deemed as acceptable to the relationship. It’s an agreement and dedication you both make for a future you both envision.
Dating after 25 doesn’t have to be as complicated as we make it. If you know better, you should start doing better. It could save a broken heart.
xox Black Daria
Now I’m more aware as I reach that point in my life. Thank you for sharing this sis ❤️