The hidden expectations of dating
Sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no make-up on was blaring in the background as my best friend and I poured our third glass of Moscato. I could feel the oh so recognizable wine buzz starting to kick in as my smile started to grow wider and wider. The anticipation of girl talk was building, and I couldn’t wait. Within minutes every thought in our minds flew right of our mouths. That’s the one thing I love about hanging with my girls, it doesn’t take long for us to start one of our “infamous problem solving” girl chats.
In these girl chats, we don’t gossip or bash men as some of you might think. Instead, we throw out ideas or questions that have been on our minds. We try to dissect the “why” while still giving each other genuine advice.
“A woman’s mind is like having 50 tabs open in an internet browser and not knowing where the talking is coming from.”
Questions like; would you be upset if your man has female friends? Would you ever date someone with a newborn? Where the theme of this conversation. As my homegirl and I went into deeper conversations about relationships she asked, “is a man obligated to pay the bill if you’re just dating”?
Over the years I’ve read articles questioning the answer, but giving no solid response. I mean, how can they, it’s all opinions at the end of the day. It’s not like there’s a guaranteed dating manual that details every step of dating. If there was I’m pretty sure I would have it by now.
To me “dating” is the first stage. It’s the first step you need to take in order to know if you like this person or not. In the dating stage, we’re still feeling each other out. You’re talking on the phone, meeting up in person, and going on dates. Some of you might even have sex in this stage. (FYI just because your “dating” someone you’re sleeping with doesn’t make him your man.)
At this stage, we’re both giving our best impressions. This is the stage where I usually wear my sexiest clothes, come-thru sheer shirts. During this time women usually spend around $100-150 every 2 weeks on their upkeep. Making sure our nails and hair are done. We’re even shaving more. Visibly showing you we’re trying, even though it might be overlooked.
“When I look good, I feel good. Keeping up with my maintenance is for us both, although it’s a fee that I pay.”
I’m sure the majority of you can relate. While men just brush up on their best smooth-talk and get a 20$ haircut. Figuring that it will be enough to get either of these two things out of you; a relationship or the box.
So, my answer is yes, a man should pay for the date if you’re just dating. He’s courting you. He wants something from you. So, allow him to earn it. Us women put a lot of time and effort into our appearances for men. Maybe this is where men in our generation get it messed up, by forgetting nothing is free in life.
Now if you’re in a relationship I stand by the 50/50 rule. Switching off paying or just splitting the bill if needed. A relationship is between two people so the bill shouldn’t always fall on one person. You both have to share the load at all times.
So what do you think? Should a man pay the bill if you’re just dating?
Leave your comments below.
xox Black Daria