I’ll admit, when I first learned about self-care the only things that ran through my mind were massages, nails, facials, and retail therapy. Thinking I need about 100-200$ in the bank just to find my joy for the day.
Lifestyle gurus and wanna be influencers on Instagram are always throwing self-care down our throats. Making it seem like we need to do all these luxurious things once a week to turn our lives around. As if spending money is the solution.
“Social media can be a pool of lies if you allow it. It will make you think you’re not doing good enough in life when in reality, you’re doing just fine.”
I’ve learned that a change in perspective even in self-care can change your outlook on life. Or maybe it has to do with understanding self-care. I remember asking a couple of people what “self-care” meant to them and the response was unsettling. A lot of females compared self-care to a luxury.
“Since when is it a luxury to take care of yourself?”
I’m not talking about spending money. I’m not saying, f*ck your responsibilities either. I’m asking about YOU. How can you take care of the world when you neglect yourself?
What lifestyle gurus aren’t telling you is that self-care is whatever brings you peace and happiness. It’s not materialistic, and it’s not something to practice for only one day. Taught correctly, self-care can be implemented daily. It’s a lifestyle not a sunday fling.
Self-care is …
Setting boundaries
With your family, friends, ex-lovers, and co-workers. Once you set that boundary. STICK TO IT. Don’t allow anyone to over step what you have clearly made a boundary. Boundaries help heal the heart, ease the mind, and it brings people to an understanding. If you have a boundary don’t be ashamed to tell people what it is. At the end of the day your mental health matters too. They will get over it, and eventually they will start to get used to it. You just have to stand your ground.
Giving yourself a damn break
If you’re like me scrolling on social media will get you lost and in something you have no business knowing. Take a break. A break doesn’t mean to go on social media or start another project. A break is when you put down the phone or computer, and go enjoy something else. Watch a TV show, listen to a podcast, call up your home girl, read a book, take a bath or meditate. We live in a social media heavy society. Your phone isn’t a break. It can cause anxiety and overwhelms the best of us. Treat yourself to a real break and put it down.
Saying NO
To anything and everything you truly don’t want to do. This doesn’t mean that you’re being distant or grumpy. Saying NO, means you’re choosing where your energy goes. It means choosing your sanity over something you really don’t want to do. Whether it’s going on a vacation, chilling with someone, or even talking. If your mind and heart are uneasy about it, just say NO. There’s no benefit in doing something that doesn’t sit well within your heart anyway.
Acceptance of yourself.
Is accepting your flaws and understanding your emotions. It’s loving yourself for who you are and who you strive to be. This step should have been first because you can’t truly cannot take care of anyone else until you love yourself a little more.
Finding small joys throughout the day
Whether it’s waking up early, taking a walk, or grabbing that bottle of wine on your way home. Figure out what brings you some sort of joy. It can even be a simple “I love you” text. Cherish your joy, remember your joy and repeat it every single day.
Except for drinking wine everyday, I don’t condone drinking everyday. That liquor weight is no joke.
Allowing your dreams to LIVE out loud
Whether you’re able to work on them or not. Still living in your imagination, and having goals for yourself will keep you on your toes. It’s almost therapeutic to have goals because once you start making moves to achieve them. It’s like a weight being lifted off your shoulders. You won’t have to wonder what if, or live in regret when you allow your dreams to still live. No matter the situation you’re in. There’s always a way. Just might take some longer than others. You can always start by creating a vision board for 2021.
Take care of yourself. Never allow anyone to tell you that you’re doing too much. Self-care means taking care of your needs too. If they can’t get with it, tell them to take a seat while you become everything you need to be. You don’t need their permission.
xox Black Daria