2020 the year of tragedy for many, but the year of reflection for the majority. Especially for women in their late twenties, mid thirties. I like to say it’s the year of acknowledgement and reflection because I’ve become more aware than I ever was. So much so that it’s exhausting.
“It’s exhausting to know better, yet still battle yourself about it.”
Have you ever looked down at a text message, and told yourself that you mentally don’t have the energy to respond? Or distanced yourself from your friends and family because their advice or conversation was just too much for you to handle? Or is it just me?
Lately, I’ve been noticing that my home-girls have been feeling the same way. We’re all older now, many of our hopes and dreams did not turn out how we wanted. Actually none of ours did. Now we’re all acknowledging our truths. Some truths are harder to shallow than others which makes us retreat to our isolated comfort zones. A few years ago I would have taken this with a grain of salt.
I use to tell my friends:
“Listen bitch, if you go through it. WE go through it together. You’re not alone.”
Even though my statement still stands with them. That statement only makes you smile for a split second. You can receive all the encouragement in the world but it’s up to you to take action on it.
Sometimes taking action is needing some space. Space to hear, see, and understand the season of life you’re going through at the moment. If you haven’t noticed, you can’t hear when you have too many people in your ear. It just clouds your judgement, and makes you do the exact thing you did not want to. The best time to listen is when no one is around.
Have you ever asked yourself a question and answered it back? No, you’re not delusional it’s your intuition speaking to you. We all have it, many ignore it, and regret it later.
Something I’ve learned from my girls is, giving yourself space to re-align and focus is needed when nothing seems to be working out. We are the only ones who are in control of our lives so instead of worrying, and crying about it all day. Re-align and silence the noise around you. Some people might not understand, but the ones who do will support you the entire way through.
We all need space here and there. It’s so easy to get distracted. I’m not saying f*ck the world, and isolate yourself from it all. I’m saying to normalize a woman’s right to take a break. If I don’t answer your text, I’m just going through something right now. I’ll get back to you when I can focus on what you said.
You have to sprinkle in your self-care anywhere you can fit it. So, if you need a break, but don’t know how to tell that to people in your circle here are a few ways I’ve done it.
“Remember, if that person really cares about you, they will understand.”
I’m sorry, but I’m having a day. I’ll hit you back later.
Just don’t answer. You don’t have to answer anyone you don’t want too. You pay that phone bill girl. Answer on your own time.
When needing your space make sure to do things that will help you focus and re-align. ie. meditation, working out, praying, reading, strategizing, vision board. Don’t just sit around soaking in your fears. Get up and do something about them!
Do not feel guilty when trying to better yourself. A better you makes a better friend, lover, sibling, and daughter to everyone.
Be kind to yourself. You can be your worst critic. Always remember WHY when you feel yourself losing it.
Don’t isolate yourself for so long that you get use to being alone. We aren’t meant to be alone. Give yourself time, but be careful not to extend it for longer than needed.
Re-align to get it right as many times as you need. Every day you wake up is another chance to get it right again, just don’t take it for granted.
xox Black Daria